It really makes my blood boil when someone says – oh, she’s just a stay at home mom. That’s so lazy – it’s like she’s on vacation all the time, but she doesn’t even look after herself anymore.
What mainly makes us feel good and accomplished at work?
- Acknowledgement from your boss
- Real impact that gives the sense of accomplishment
- Financial gain
Let’s look a bit closer to this mom holiday thing, and why this chill-axed lifestyle so often leads to parental burnout, low self-esteem, weight gain and in some cases, depression. (Sense of humor required when reading this post).
Acknowledgement From Your Boss
Let’s face it – as stay at home parent, our bosses are tiny self-centered ones. Just like grownup ones(unless they have attended personal growth courses), they are screaming at us all day long. They take us for granted.Every good deed is accepted as a norm, but every unwanted but necessary thing is turned into huge discussion.
But it gets worse – our little bosses make our everyday tasks close to impossible, resisting to bathing, nail clipping, dressing up, undressing, wearing shoes, eating with a spoon, cleaning hands, wiping nose, wearing a hat, etc. All this explaining and reasoning takes huge amounts of energy and makes you tired and annoyed.
Real Impact That Gives The Sense Of Accomplishment
When we complete a task, finish a project, we like to look back and see the benefits of it, to us, our company or at least other people.
But what happens at home? You clean a room only to find it even messier 10 minutes later. You clean a window only to find a dirty hand-print or a face-print on it, the next time you turn around. You need to do the same task every day, again, again, and again, until point where it all feels pointless – as soon as you finish, you have to start again!
There is no immediate sense of accomplishment when you are at home with your little ones 24/7.
This is the one thing that we love – seeing our bank balance grow and grow and grow. The more money you bring in – the better you feel, because you feel important and needed.
Well, if you are a “non working” stay at home parent, this is where you feel worst of all. If you have been supporting your family and suddenly you don’t, you feel dependent. The needs of growing household are growing accordingly, so soon you feel that you are just spending and taking instead of contributing to your family’s budget. If you are not blessed with a reasonable human being for a partner, this can destroy your self worth. If your every request for money is met with : What? You need more money? How about you give me some money? Why do you need so much money?- bit by bit it lowers your self-worth like a magic.
I have painted a pretty bleak picture here, right? I could go on, these are just few joy-killers for stay at home dads and moms out there.
To be honest there are loads and loads of benefits to being a stay at home parent, even at a price of loosing some portion of your monthly income. (By the way, there are lots of ways to work from home now-days, so loosing income is not a must.)
The time you get to spend with your kids is priceless and you can not get it back for any amount of money. (How many times you have heard kid complaining about spending too much time with his parents?)
The toughest part of being a stay at home parent is that the true gratitude, true appreciation from our little bosses (our kids) we’ll receive at some point in distant future, when our kids will have children of their own. Yes.
“Being a stay at home parent is a long time investment in your kids future.”
There is just one thing that we need to be in control of our own thinking – we have o remember why we chose this path.
You have to remind yourself that no nanny in the world will have the bond you share with your children. No other human being will treasure them more than you – no matter the paycheck.
So do what you can to make yourself remember that!
- Make a poster, order one here if you like, put it on your wall as an everyday reminder
- create a self – care routine
- work with a coach, reach out if you want
- go out in the nature
- spend quality time with your family
- choose your battles wisely
- remember to have fun.
Know that you will have a payback one day, and it’s gonna be amazing!